A Burden Shared

It's easy to feel overwhelmed and lost right now. The constant influx of cruelty via the news seems unending and relentless. The helpless feeling of watching people who are supposed to protect you instead fold to fascism is not only disappointing but enraging. The worry and concern that plagues all of us who live just one missed house payment away from homelessness can make you want to just give up.

It seems like every time I talk to people I care about these are the refrains. We all are living with this panic seething under the surface of our skin. Unchanging and eternal. And I wonder if we're ever going to make it to that better world we all seem to want but can't make a reality.

We all get crushed under the weight of this right now. I know. I've heard it over and over. Good people trying to do the right thing who get screwed by the system or dismissed by brainwashed cultists chanting about patriotism and honor. (The irony is not lost on me, but it is also so wearying that no one seems to care about hypocrisy anymore.)

When I stay isolated and alone, these thoughts build up until they feel like boulders on my chest, pressing me down into the earth, cracking my ribs, stealing my breath. I think I'll never get out of this, that we'll never get out of this, and what's the point of writing, or taking care of myself, or anything involving the future when the future seems like it is in the hands of monsters.

Then I reach out, or have someone reach out to me. I co-work in coffeeshops with friends. I co-work on zoom. I have dinner and hockey nights. I watch Smosh's Try Not to Laugh with my brother until we're both crying with laughter. I wander an art market. I spend time with others. Sometimes we talk about how awful the world is, but we also talk about what we're doing and the little joys that still exist in this life despite all of it.

Through this all, I am reminded - we are not the first to go through this and we are not the last (though I wish we were). We can endure this together. As trite as it may feel now - we are stronger together. We always have been which is why they fight so hard to separate and disperse us. With voter suppression, retaliatory deportations, harassment, cautionary tales, outright brutality - all those things that a fascist government does to keep its citizens (who vastly outnumber them) from rising up and saying no more.

Kneeling to kings never kept anyone safe. In the end they will always come for you. Because the urge to remove all enemies is never satiated. If you are alone, it is an easy task. But if you are with others, those willing to fight for you, defend you, it is not. Make every step of this difficult. Protect yourself and those who need your help. Community is always stronger.

There is a delicate balance between keeping yourself informed these days and letting the deluge of horrible shit drown you. All I can say is figure out what that balance is for yourself, because everyone is different and also every day is different. Don't let anyone tell you that if you're not plugged into the horror 24/7/365 you're failing. It is not necessary and it is detrimental to the fight in the long run.

Find your people, make an effort to get out and do something that reminds you of what we're fighting for and what we hold dear. I promise it will help make it easier to endure the years to come.

Love,
K