Anchor Chain

Apologies for missing last week, things got away from me pre-trip and there was just not enough time to sit down in Virginia and write something.

I had a really amazing time at RavenCon over the weekend. I'm not big on birthday parties or being the center of attention, so it was sort of weirdly poetic to spend my 50th among a bunch of strangers as a guest of honor where few people actually knew me but everyone knew me. But I also got to spend it with three lovely humans I've met through Helldivers because they made the time to come and see me. A friend I've known for a decade now was also there, so we got to catch up and hug a bunch and it was great to see her. (Also thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday on socials! 💚)

Another lovely friend from all the way across the ocean sent me money for a present (via one of the friends who came to the con). There happened to be an incredible jewelrysmith in the vendor room who worked primarily with chainmail (including a CUBE made of chainmail that was so satisfying, but sadly (and unsurprisingly) $1300. However, what Steampunk Garage did have was the coolest anchor chain bracelet.

Now, I'm not much of a jewelry person. I have some small things I wear all the time, I don't wear rings much except for occasionally going out. Consequences of jamming all of my fingers during my Kung Fu days means rings that will fit over knuckles are usually annoyingly big around my fingers.

This "bracelet" is highly impractical, far too large for my wrist, and honestly writing is not a profession that's very friendly to wearing things on your hands/wrists anyway. (I'm sure some people do, but my watch is all I can manage and even that annoys the crap out of me at times.) But when I picked this up the weight of it made my brain immediately go brrrrr. The jeweler explained it was a section of a salvaged 1 inch anchor chain they'd found and polished. I was already sold because the weight of it grounded the hell out of me, but the symbolism was too good to pass up. I love the ocean entirely too much for someone who's spent their life landlocked.

So shoutout to my lovely friends Kat and Nyx for being so kind and thoughtful. I love you both and I'm really lucky to have you in my life.

Speaking of feeling grounded, being 50 is awesome. My hair was on point all weekend, even with the extra humidity. I still have a post (or several) to write about body dysphoria and my eating disorder, but I feel really good and comfortable in my skin right this moment. Which is honestly a huge thing. Lifting is going great, I can run without a lot of pain again, and things are generally on track with what I want to accomplish long term.

I was talking to a friend about how much I miss getting hit though. * laughs * And boy do you know you've found your people when they totally understand why. There's nothing that makes you refocus like being in a fight. I may look into getting back to martial arts or boxing or just start a fight club. (kidding about the last bit, probably) That sort of practice is so intensely grounding and I think with everything going on I'm just looking for more and more ways to reset my nervous system. I can tell you spending less time on the internet has definitely helped in that regard, but it's still such a constant upkeep.

Traveling makes me want to take photos, which makes me want to travel more because there are only so many pictures you can take of your house before it feels repetitive. I'll figure something out. But it's really nice to be home and to get back into a routine. I've got some big plans brewing in my head, let's see if we can stay grounded long enough to bring them to life.

Remember to take care of yourselves and your community as best as you're able, and if no one has said it to you lately, thanks for being here. I love you and you matter.

Love,
K

Important hockey note: The Colorado Avalanche have swept the LA Kings in round one of the Stanley Cup finals. As of the writing of this newsletter we are waiting to see who is the winner of the Wild/Stars matchup.

Currently Reading: 
Never Say You Can’t Survive by Charlie Jane Anders (I read this years ago but picked it up again and it’s just as good the second time around)
Hammajang Luck by Makana Yamamoto
Mother Night by Kurt Vonnegut
Shut it Down: Stories from a Fierce, Loving Resistance by Lisa Fithian

Currently Listening: 
Breathe (2am) - Anna Nalick
Iron - Woodkid (from the Assassin’s Creed trailer)

Where you can find me these days:
Bluesky: @kbwagers.com
Instagram: @midwaybrawler
Discord: @greenskywarning
Patreon: kbwagers