For the Love of it All
It occurred to me the other day that with the exception of a few brief sparks of creativity, I have spent the better part of two years editing. My brain is angry about it, my soul even more so. And while I do need to finish editing this book, I also realized I really really need to sit down and write something for the fun of it again. Anything to shut off that inner editor who is not welcome in Draftland. They have been banned for crimes against the kingdom and need to stay at the border.
Because I do not plot my stories ahead of time. I might have a scene or three planned. I might have a vague idea of what is going to happen. But the joy of it all is discovering things about the story as I write the story. The little heart-twisty moments, the betrayals, the "oh holy shit, no way" gasps. All those are as much fun for me the author as they are, I hope anyway, for the readers.
Some people do really well plotting a story out beforehand. A detailed outline and even bullet points. I ... do not. In fact, I have learned the hard way that outlining a story makes my brain dust off its metaphorical hands and go: "Okay! We're done here." And I will never touch the story again. Because I have speedrun the telling of it and lost all the joy in the process.
I want to get to the end, of course, but not at the expense of the journey. The moments matter. All the little things you stumble across, the lines that get written, all of that happens only if I let myself stumble and stagger through the story.
So yesterday I picked up a story idea that's been hanging out in the wings for a bit and started writing. It's the tale of an exiled prince at the head of an army, coming home to challenge his uncle. It's the tale of a captain whose loyalty to his duty has pulled him from his honor. It's the tale of a fantastically gray-moral assassin who doesn't mind getting their hands dirty. It's the tale of a tree witch trying to save her home. And a young girl who might save them all - or destroy the world, I suppose we'll find out. * laughs * See, that's the fun of it!
The most hilarious thing about this all is I'm not a huge fan of epic fantasy. I was once, but I find most of them ponderous and slow, too much description of drapes and not enough character building. I've slid off of a dozen attempts in the last decade. And I dislike the idea of writing in a genre when I haven't read anything particularly recent. But you know? This is just for fun, so I'm not going to worry about it too much. (if anyone is shouting "that's what edits are for" at the screen you are absolutely right)
A lot of this boils down to how tired I am of not working on new projects. Dopamine is hard enough to come by, but there's a specific feeling for me as to the kind that comes from working on new things. I miss the staring off into space as my mind wanders into a scene, figuring out the next moves and coming up with lines that someone else will latch onto like a lifeline. (I mentioned this a few weeks ago in We Go Strong but I apologize in advance because I will forget it once it is published and you should always tell me what page it is on when you want to squeal about it with me. 😆)
Sometimes I write about this stuff just to give myself an extra boot to the ass to get moving again. So with that, I'll sign off and actually go get some work done.
Remember to take care of yourselves and your communities as best as you are able. The work here needs you and your joy is important.
Love,
K
Currently Reading:
Begin Where You Are: The Colorado Poets Laureate Anthology compiled by Turner Wyatt
Kaikeyi by Vaishavi Patel (it’s going to take me the rest of the year to get through this one I swear)
Stolen Focus by Johann Hari
Currently Listening:
Hamilton Mix Tape
The Parting Glass - Glen Hansard 💔
I Remember - Forest Blakk
The Bones - Marren Morris
Nightmare - Halsey
Where you can find me these days:
Bluesky: @kbwagers.com
Instagram: @midwaybrawler
Discord: @greenskywarning
Patreon: kbwagers