The Melancholy of Autumn

Autumn is without a doubt, my favorite time of year. It is for some reason my busiest, most creative time. The ideas are burning through my brain, I've got three projects to read for people (another was added after I finished the last blurb because it never rains...), and I am on what appears to be the tail end of my annual cold.

It's this time of year that I miss where I lived in Colorado Springs, the access to the Garden and walking through all the trees shedding their leaves in a majestic wash of color. (Bucket list item - get to the northeast for the fall colors)

But the one constant in life is that everything changes. Favorite sweaters wear out. Friendships fade. People leave us. The ache remains. There's an ever present feeling of decay in the air, which I admittedly love. I am terrible at saying goodbye and yet endlessly fascinated with writing about grief and loss and how we continue on after. I wish fall would last forever. But I will make the most of the next two months in exchange.

The planned Helldivers article has stalled. I made the fatal mistake of thinking about the potential audience instead of just writing and then fell into the trap that is one part structure and two parts imposter syndrome. Wondering what kind of authority I can possibly speak with about being a leader and how dare I tell other people how to be good team players. I am trying to work my way through it, we'll see if I'm successful. (I still want to do it, just have to beat my brain into submission.)

In better news, because it is autumn, I have actually made progress once again on the edits for Wolves in a more consistent fashion than the first 2/3s of the year. I have to look over my notes again but once I get through this somewhat sloggy middle bit we will be in the home stretch. I am extremely pleased with how things have been shaping up though, I think the story is better for the work and the patience. I think that it will definitely make it easier to jump into the sequel.

I also still have So Many Ideas™ bouncing in my brain right now, but between prioritizing edits and needing to get promised reading done I have not allowed myself to fall into the rabbit hole of drafting. (I know myself, I will not emerge for hours and when I do it'll be the stumbling, low-blood sugar, blinking version of me that usually scares people.) But I want to, I want to drop into a new story like Frodo falling in the Dead Marshes never to surface again.

In other news I'm drafting this on my "new to me" second monitor and I have a feeling I'm going to love using this. Something about the vertical layout is extremely satisfying when typing out longform work. (Edits are still on the horizontal so I can see several pages across but this really works here.)

Okay, I'm off to go for a walk and then buckle in for some work. Remember to take care of yourselves and your communities as best as you are able.

Love,
K

Currently Reading: 
The Hollow Crown of Heaven by Karen Osborne
The Utopia of Us: An Anthology inspired by Yevgeny Zamyatin’s We, edited by Teika Marija Smits

Currently Listening: 
Honestly I’ve just been listening to like three playlists over and over again. Nothing super interesting on this front. 

Where you can find me these days:
Bluesky: @kbwagers.com
Instagram: @midwaybrawler
Patreon: kbwagers