The Unbearable Melancholy of Rain

The title doesn't quite fit the newsletter this week, but I like the way it feels so we're going to roll with it.

I am back from my week long adventure across the wilds of Canada and my brain is filled with so much that it feels like ferrets in a ball pit at the moment. Post-travel melancholy aside (where I am convinced that everyone hates me and that everyone is far more competent at this writing thing than I am and how nothing will ever be right again), I have an intimidating backlog of photos to post to Instagram, a host of things to look up and add to wish lists, a pile (several piles) of things on my desk and in my room to put away, and a zipper to try and fix on my suitcase.

I had so much fun and I'm so thankful to EK Johnston for posting on Bsky back in October "who wants to do a writing retreat on a train with me?" I'm also thankful I was able to get over my assorted anxieties about traveling in order to not only say "me!" but to get myself situated so I could actually do it.

I have not traveled enough. It's honestly one of my greatest regrets and something I'm trying to rectify here in the latter half of my life. Americans just don't travel much, sadly. Not only out of our own country but inside it as well. And it's something that speaks both to our issues in society currently and is because of our society. As I was speeding across the enormous and gorgeous landscape of Canada, talking with people from Switzerland and Poland, England and Canada I kept thinking about how much we miss out on because of this.

No one hated me (not that I thought they would) and so many were deeply sympathetic about what this country is going through at the moment. I received several offers to stay in Canada. * laughs * Which was appreciated even though it's impossible.

I got to sit and watch the kilometers roll past us. Unbelievably stunning landscapes - endless snow-covered plains, the start of the Rockies, misty mountains. I saw Toronto, Winnipeg, Jasper, and Vancouver. Edmonton I slept through, sorry! I ate some incredibly wonderful food and was extremely touched by the train staff, who, upon figuring out that I had a bell pepper allergy went to great lengths to make sure I knew which options were safe at every meal. (Including when they'd gone through a staff change, which means someone passed on the information.)

I wrote and read and learned to play Cribbage thanks to Kate's patience. I took so many pictures, some super blurry, others that had perfect timing. I woke up in the middle of the night to a train absolutely rocketing down the tracks, thought "well, I have no control over anything here" and rolled over to go back to sleep. (We were making up time from being delayed by a freight derailment, but it was hard not to think about what would happen if we jumped the tracks 😀)

Then we pulled into the station at Vancouver and the first part of my trip was over. It was sunny and unseasonably warm and I joked to Jackson Ford (who, along with his wife was kind enough to put me up for three whole days) that I'd brought the sun with me. Vancouver let that stand for about 18 hours and then dumped rain on us.

But honestly I love the rain. I'm rarely kitted out for it because * gestures * Colorado; but I do love it. So I got to hang out and meet some other local writers, and visit queer bookstores, walk over a suspension bridge, hike in a forest, see axolotls at the aquarium and catch up with a genuinely good friend and amazing human being. (Even if he is salty at me for showing him up with hot sauce, but come on, I'm a Colorado native.) Anyway, Jackson's awesome, I'm glad we're friends. Check out his amazing books especially the newest The Bone Raiders - queer, all women raiders riding giant fire-breathing lizards. It doesn't get better than that.

I am going to go tackle this pile of laundry and my disaster of a desk and try to get my head back on straight so I can dive into the eight million things I wanted to do while I was on the train.

Remember to take care of yourselves and your communities as best as you are able.

Love,
K

Important hockey note: The Colorado Avalanche are 37-9-9 as of the writing of this newsletter.

Currently Reading: 
This is the Honey: An Anthology of Contemporary Black Poets, edited by Kwame Alexander
The Bone Raiders, by Jackson Ford

Currently Listening: 
I’ve been listening to a lot of random French jazz at the moment. 

Where you can find me these days:
Bluesky: @kbwagers.com
Instagram: @midwaybrawler
Discord: @greenskywarning
Patreon: kbwagers