My ship smells like cookies*
*there's like three of you who will get this joke, that's fine 😆
Part One:
[scene, interior bedroom, top down shot] An almost 50 year old author lays facedown on the bed, clean laundry scattered around. They've got a muscle patch on their lower back thanks to twisting wrong during lifting class this morning.
Honestly sometimes trying to get/stay healthy seems like the biggest scam out there. But I keep doing it because it does help (most of the time) and while I'm not going to claim that my traps look like Landy's, I do have visible trapezius muscles now and that's something.
I do appreciate a great many things from my long ago kung fu practice, first among them being the reminder that pain is your body's way of telling you that something is wrong and that there's a difference between being uncomfortable and being in pain. Americans especially have a hard fucking time with this concept.
Allergy season is already in full swing. I've had two migraines so far and multiple "almosts" which are both annoying and exhausting. Yes, I've done whatever it is you're about to suggest. Yes, I would love it if allergy meds didn't render me unconscious. (Yes, I've tried that brand. ❤️)
Part Two:
[scene, interior house, wide shot] An excited doggo is barking with excitement because her mom has just returned FROM THE MOON.
No, seriously, go watch this video from Christina Koch with her dog Sadie. And go watch any of the NASA videos. The moon joy. The wonder. The humbleness. Turns out we weren't tired of space, we were just tired of selfish egomaniac billionaires trying to claim space for themselves. The joy, the coordination, the teamwork. All of it just fills my heart with so much love. It's a balm against the awfulness, not entirely, but enough to make my nervous system calm down a little bit.
It has taken us so long to get back to the moon, far longer than it should have while we let war and capitalism take the driver's seat over exploration and wonder. I hope this is a turning point, another turning point I should say, as we continue to realize how much power we have and how we don't have to be held hostage by the whims and terrible proclivities of those who want to burn the world down.
The world of the NeoG isn't a utopia, those people still exist, but they face justice in the end. I continue to hold onto the hope that life will mirror art and the work we do today will see a better world tomorrow.
Part Three:
[scene, slow pan of a dusty, unused desk]
I have had far too much caffeine today. * laughs * And yet, I am sleepy AF. I am behind on nearly everything that I need to do on my writing list and still struggling to even care about it all that much. I have at least tackled two of the three reading projects I needed to get done, but I still haven't made any headway on my own edits. Or the short stories I need to write. Or the new stuff that's been hovering on the edge of my brain for what feels like ever.
I haven't had a writing drought like this for over a decade and honestly I'm so over it. Yes the world is a garbage fire, but other people are writing just fine. So what gives? Honestly, I wish I knew and if it were as easy as kicking my ass I'd have written four books in the last two years. It's not and I've been at least consistent with this newsletter and my weekly blogs, not to mention some other writing but the things I want to work on, really want to work on? Those things have started to gather dust.
And I don't want them to do that. I always write for myself first, but I also write for those of you who read it. The ones who need to hear whatever I've written out, the ones who laugh about it, who cry over it, who get something from it. I know I've kept you all waiting for so long and I'm sorry. It's taken me a while to find myself again, through this mess and all the rest of it. I think I'm almost there.
Love,
K
Excited for the upcoming Ravencon!
Important hockey note: The Colorado Avalanche are 53-16-11 as of the writing of this newsletter and we have two games left in the regular season, then it’s playoff time.
Currently Reading:
Mother Night by Kurt Vonnegut
Shut it Down: Stories from a Fierce, Loving Resistance by Lisa Fithian
These Memories Do Not Belong to Us by Yiming Ma
Currently Listening:
Lot of Panic! At the Disco - I Write Sins not Tragedies
Green Day - Basket Case
Where you can find me these days:
Bluesky: @kbwagers.com
Instagram: @midwaybrawler
Discord: @greenskywarning
Patreon: kbwagers